


Strong

by Niall_Princess_Horan



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Hurt Niall, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Niall Horan/Harry Styles-centric, Niall-centric, Sad Niall
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2019-01-04 19:58:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12175620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niall_Princess_Horan/pseuds/Niall_Princess_Horan
Summary: Niall has had enough of his knees and doesn't feel he's strong enough to go through more surgery.P.S. you can follow me on Twitter @meganls11But my names Riley :/





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! So this is fic number 45!!! Whoo - anyway this one is not based in nialls story of his knees, it's my story. A TRUE STORY (with 1D as the characters)
> 
> I needed to share how I was feeling with someone and i thought this would be a good way
> 
> Let me know what you think!!

Niall pov

I remember when I was 6 and I dislocated my knee playing football with louis and liam. I remember crying my eyes out and my knee cap being sat round the side of my leg, and when I was picked up by my dad it moved back round to sit where it should. I was still in agony. I remember being taken to the hospital and having x rays. I remember then telling me there's nothing wrong and I'm making it up. I'm doing it for attention. I'm a liar. 

I remember my knee dislocating when I was 7, twice in the same day at school because they didn't believe me and wouldn't send me home. I remember harry putting it back in place and crying because he didn't want to hurt me.

I remember my knee dislocating at 10:20 AM when we had first break at school when I was ten. I was chasing liam down a grass hill, my knee dislocated and I ended up with my dislocated knee bent underneath my bum with all my weight on it. They didn't believe me. I couldn't put any weight on my leg. It's like it wasn't there. I couldn't feel it. The teachers didn't believe me. The left me all day when I couldn't put weight on my leg with out falling over. I had to stay in the classroom all day, have lunch brought to me, not go out to play. Harry want even aloud to stay with me. I was called a liar. I was told to stop making it up. They called my mum at 3pm when I still insisted i couldn't walk. My mum arrived and I ended up going to the accident and emergency room. On the way she told me if I was lying I'd be in so much trouble. I told her I wasn't. I could see it in her eyes, she didn't believe me.

At the emergency room, that was the day my life changed. My knees had being dislocating (when I was younger I'd call it 'twisting' because it was easier to pronounce.) 

Both of my knees have been dislocating around 6/7 times a week, per knee. Each time I was taken to hospital, sent for scans and told there was nothing wrong. It didn't get any easier. The pain didn't get any more tolerable. All the times i was called a liar didn't make it hurt any less. The only person who didn't doubt me, was harry.

At the emergency room I was sent for x rays and scans. They came back and said I have torn all the ligaments and tendons in my knee. That was the moment they realised there was something wrong. That was the moment, someone other than harry, believed me.

I was told they would try physio for a year and see if that helped. I remember being nervous about meeting new people and anxious for it to work so I could get on with my life.

I did that for 2 years. It didn't work.

I was 12 years old when I had my first surgery. It was the 17th January. I remember having a science exam the day before and freaking out I'd fail it because my mind was elsewhere. They didn't do much in the operation. They tightened the inside of my left knee to stop it pulling out wards. I received no help in terms of after care. No one told me how long to be off school or how much to walk around. I was back at school a week later. 2 weeks after the operation I split all of my internal and external stitches and had to be taken back into hospital. I got to go in an ambulance for the first time.

They did the same operation on my right knee when I was 14 on the 28th June. That didn't work either.

I remember when I was 19 being sent for my third operation, it was on the 27th July. This time they've reconstructed all the bones in my knee cap to create a bowl shape for my knee to sit in. They did my right knee afterwards, On the 24th May the following year. I am now 20. 20 years old and this is still going on.

I was told my knees would be okay after this. The surgeon has done this operation 300 times and no one's knee has ever dislocated afterwards. My right knee dislocated 3 months after the surgery.

(Present tense)

I head over to see my surgeon in Sheffield. He was the closest one to leeds (where I live) that could do it. I set off at 7:30 for the bus. Then get the 8:40 train to Sheffield. I then get a taxi from the train station to the hospital. I arrive at the hospital at 10am. 

My appointment is at 10:25. I have a coffee and check in. Once my name is called and I'm sent to wait in the stuffy room I relax slightly. I'm rubbish with directions and thought I'd get lost.

It's the physio that comes in to see me. She asks what I've had done which irritates me as she's got my file sat on her knee and clearly hasn't bothered reading it. I tell her about the operations and my right knee dislocating. I then tell her my left knee isn't sitting right and feels like it's going to give out when I walk.

She looks shocked and heads into the room conjoined to the one I'm in. I hear my surgeon talk to her and get even more annoyed he couldn't be bothered to come and see me himself. He's sat next door! Regardless he doesn't come into to see me. He sends the physio to send me for x rays. I go through the motions of getting my knee scanned. Holding the board when required. Bending my knee when asked. Not moving. I'm then sent back to see my surgeon. Only to once again see the physio.

"Well- looking at your x rays, it's likely well have to do more surgery. We'll do hard core physio for the next 3 months and then discuss more surgery that's possible"

I'm sat frozen. I'm numb. This has being going on 18 years (since I could walk) four operations later and it's still not right. I got told if I have the last two surgeries it would be okay my knees should be on the mend. And they're not.

I leave the room with my tears barely held in. I walk down the stupid corridor and leave through the automatic doors and collapse on the bench outside.

A few minutes later my phone starts ringing in my coat pocket. I answer without looking at the caller.

"Yeah?" I mutter.  
"Hey Ni,  how did the hospital go?" Harry asks through the phone.  
"Shit. They said- they said they'll likely have to do more surgery" I whisper.  
"Baby where are you?" He asks gently.  
"Outside the hospital. I'm so tired harry. I'm tired of all of this" I cry.

"I'm coming to get you. I'll be there in half and hour, don't move baby" he says softly.  
"Thanks haz" I whisper before hanging up.

I sit and stare at the hospital doors. Watching all of the people leaving and entering. All the ones being told things worse than me. But the ones being told better. I don't notice harry is here until he crouches down in front of me.

"Baby? Let's go yeah? Get you home?" He asks tentively. I just nod in response and he leads me to the car. He gets me sat down before mumbling 'seatbelt' and getting in his side.

"Wanna talk about it?" He asks 10 minutes into the drive.  
"I'm just tired. Of everything. I'm tired of having to have surgery and physio and check ups. I'm tired of not being allowed to do anything. I did Cheerleading for 12 years -can't do it anymore. Football- can't do. Rugby- can't do. Boxing- running- trampolining- swimming- riding a fucking bike. Skiing- rock climbing- water boarding- I can't do anything and I hate it." I sigh.

"I'm here babe. I'm here with you, we'll get through this together" Harry says reassuringly and places his hand on my thigh, giving it a little rub.

"I'm tired of It all. In high school I couldn't go skiing with all of you lot- it was awful. I couldn't even go to Disney land because they couldn't get the insurance for me" I complain "I'm tired of doing this. I'm 20 years old. I've just gotten a new job that I start in 3 weeks, how are the going to take it if I need time off for more surgery?! It's frustrating harry. I can't do things that normal 20 year olds can do."

"Niall-" Harry tries to speak but I cut him off.

"I was sat on the plane the other month when I came back from Spain -the journey was 3 hours at most and I couldn't stand up afterwards- it was so embarrassing. Then there's the fact i can't kneel down or put any weight on my knees bent- I can't squat or crouch down to pick things up. I thought if I had these last two operations it would be okay, I would be okay in time. But now?  I'm tired of feeling broken and I'm not strong enough to do this anymore" I cry.


	2. Chapter 2

Harry pov

I pull over into an empty parking space, at the side of the road, so I can focus on niall whilst he's upset.

"Niall you are so strong and so brave-"

"-I'm tired of being strong. And im tired of being brave. The last two operations were agony. They broke every bone in my knees. I couldn't even get out of bed on my own for the first week. I needed help getting in and out of bed. Getting dressed. Getting to the toilet. Sitting on the fucking toilet. Bathing- and all the while my knee was black and blue in bruises. There's a big ugly scar down each of my legs. All the blood poisoning and infections I got because of the operations. And my knees still aren't right." Niall sobs. 

I'm numb because I know everything he's been through- I was there! I just didn't realise the effect it was having on his emotional and mental state of mind.

"You're allowed to be upset. And angry and scared- you have every right to be. But baby, you aren't alone in this" I mumble as I pull him in for an awkward side hug over the hand brake.

"I don't have any fight left in me harry" he whispers.  
"Well- I do. I'll fight for the both of us" I peck his head and wipe away both his and my own tears.  
"It just feels like it was all for nothing. All a waste of time. My knees were hideous harry. I had a big stitched up scar down the middle of my leg. From foot to groin it was black and blue in bruises. There was dried blood stuck in between the stitching. And even now. My legs are still a mess because they have fucking stupid scars down them" niall cries as he claws at his legs harshly.

I grab his arms and pin them down so he can't draw any more blood.

"Let me go" he snaps.  
"No. I won't let you hurt yourself anymore than you're hurting now. You're hurting enough babe" I mumble as I continue to pin his arms down. It's the only thing I can think to do to stop him hurting himself.

"You are not ugly. Your legs are not hideous. You are beautiful. And kind. And brave and yes strong. These are your battle scars baby, they make you who you are. They're proof of how strong you truly are and how much you can over come. They make you, you. And I love th-"

"-Harry-"

"-Shhh. I'm talking. I love that they're slightly faded white in places and that they're normally a red-ish -pink color. I love that when they're cold they turn purple and that you can't feel the outside of you leg because it's numb from surgery. I love that they're fatter in places due to you being flexible and your muscles splitting them. I love them because they're a part of you." I finish softly.

"I don't have the energy to do this again"

"Then don't. We can look at different options. It doesn't have to be surgery. We can do the physio for the next three months like mentioned and go from there. At the end of the day, it's your decision. You have the final say and if you don't want to do this again, I'll be right by your side. And if you do end up having more surgery, I'll still be right here. I am going nowhere. You may have another battle to face, but there's no way in hell you're facing it alone."


End file.
